WHY ARRANGED MARRIAGES ARE MORE OF A BUSINESS DEALS IN INDIA
In India, arranged marriages are no less than business deals.
For Indian society, marriage is the most important event that exists in their entire life rather the marriages are considered to be the solutions to every problem that humankind faces. From the very childhood, children are prepared to become a marriage material that too if you are a girl it’s ensured that you are given special training to be the perfect choice of grooms and their families when you grow older. From teaching the right manners to the kitchen etiquette, parents ensure that girls are being given the best training for their marriages from a very tender age. Parents are so obsessed that even a small scar on their child’s face can make them worried about not getting a good spouse. This is the story of almost every home in India irrespective of the financial status (yes even the elite classes make sure that their child doesn’t lag in this race). Till now it must be clear to you that everything that our society does has some direct or indirect nexus with the marriages. But the story doesn’t end here.
In India, arranged marriages are widely prevalent and parents and relatives consider it as their right to choose the prospective spouse for their children. According to one survey conducted in 2013, around 75% of the marriages in India are arranged marriages. There is nothing wrong in arranges marriages per se and this article is not at all about demeaning arranged marriages. But the problem lies with the process in which these marriages are organized. In India, arranged marriages are not just marriages where match-making is done by the parents or relatives, it’s all about a proper business deal that exists between the brides and the groom sides, wherein a majority of the cases the bargaining power lies with the groom side for the simple reason that India is a patriarchal society. You might be thinking that this used to happen many years ago when women weren’t educated and now things must have been changed as women are now equal in terms of both educational qualifications and financial status. But sadly, this is not the case.
THE BEGINNING
The whole process starts when girls and boys reach the age of 24–25 and then parents, relatives as well as the match-makers start looking for the prospective spouses of their children. It starts with a bio-data (it’s like a CV when you apply for the jobs) which includes information like height, weight, skin color, caste, educational qualification, job status, parents’ details, horoscopes details, etc. Women who are slim and have lighter skin colour are given more preference to women with darker skin colour. Therefore, it’s all about matching religion, caste, status, horoscope, height, weight, and complexion.
DOWRY CULTURE
After the marriage is fixed, the bride's side is supposed to pay a hefty amount to the groom’s side. Dowry is the most important element that makes the concept of arranged marriages a sort of business deals. Dowry involves giving of cash, expensive cars, gold, and other jewelry. Grooms with higher degrees have more scope to get dowries. In states like UP, Bihar, Haryana, and Rajasthan, the dowry given to the groom is fixed according to their educational qualifications. For instance- men in the most prestigious jobs like IAS (Indian Administrative Services) and IPS (Indian Police Services) get the highest ranking in the marriage market. Likewise, people qualified from elite services like IIT (Indian Institute of Technology) and IIM (Indian Institute of Management) are paid high in terms of dowry. Since no one admits giving or receiving dowries, laws can barely help in eradicating the dowry system.
NOW DOWRY IS REPLACED BY DEGREE
From the last couple of decades, the educational qualification of both groom and bride has become an important factor that determines the marriage prospects. This is especially true in the cases of women, where parents see higher educational degrees as a valuable way to enhance their daughters’ marriage prospects. It’s the bitter truth that many parents don’t allow their daughters to work even after getting higher degrees rather university education is just to ensure that they can find a better groom. Now, dowries given by the brides have been replaced by their degrees.
ALL ABOUT FLAUNTING YOUR STATUS
This might sound offensive to many people, but there is not an iota of doubt that marriages are not used as status symbols. The more lavish the wedding is, the more you can boost your status in society. There is a culture in India to give gifts to both groom and bride and to their entire family. From the very beginning, the exchange of expensive gifts and jewelry takes place and it remains throughout the entire event of marriage. The grooms’ and brides’ sides are judged based on the gifts that they exchange and although they are supposed to be voluntary that’s not the case and there is exist societal pressure due to which everyone is forced to provide expensive gifts even when they can’t. Like, every other factor, in this case also, there is more pressure on the brides’ side and this becomes a burden for poor and middle-class families. Although this might also happen in the love marriages but this is widely prevalent in arrange marriages where the whole family is involved and everyone competes to show their status.
WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT
All the above factors are enough to show that arranged marriages are no less than business deals in India. The problem is entrenched in Indian society’s culture. The obsession of marriage doesn’t end and it’s used as a tool to increase one’s status in society. Therefore, it’s high time that Indians should change their outlook towards marriage. It’s high time that marriages must be seen as a way to seek companionship and making bonds. I know it’s easier said than done but people have to change their perspective otherwise the sacred institution of marriage would no longer remain sacred. Therefore, efforts have to be made from the younger generations by persuading their parents’ and relatives as well as not participating in activities which are no less than a business deal. Men have to make special efforts in ensuring that their prospective spouses are not getting exploited by their families.
Let’s hope that things will change.